I called to the LORD in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6
Today has been one of those really hard days for my family. If you have been following along with our story at all you would catch a glimpse into the recent heartache we have been forced to endure.
For the last couple of months I thought It was easy to put on a happy face and keep that it’s all going to work out attitude if I just keep having faith and I keep having hope. I just have to keep pushing on, praying and waiting on God to move.
But today was the first day I got out there and really started to advocate for our family. At first it felt so good. It was feeding my hope. I’ll share my story, God will help us. There has to be good people out there right? Things were looking up, doors had opened for us.
But then those doors that were opened were shut. No warning! And that’s how life just happens folks. Everything is going great in your life and then BAM its not. And sometimes there is literally nothing you can do but ride it through until the end. Its entirely a whole other level when you have precious children along for the ride. My kids didn’t’ ask for this. My kids don’t deserve this. Well, none of us deserve this. Nobody out there deserves this. Why does this life have to be so cruel and harsh! Why do the bad people win and the good people lose? Why are people marching in the streets protesting how they didn’t get their way with a vote and yet there are people suffering all around them who are just struggling to put food on the table for their families, or keep warm in the winter, but that is not as important. This is why there will always be suffering and pain in this life.
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
But not everyone is like that. THERE ARE STILL GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE. Acts of kindness still happen. I know it. Because I was down in the dumps today, feeling utterly depressed. I have been wallowing all evening after getting home from advocating for our family. I was so emotionally exhausted. My kids needed to be along with me today and It was so hard on them as well hearing their mother talk about our moldy house, and our health issues with complete strangers. Then to come home and their little hearts are so burdened yet they have faith and want mommy to pray with them one more time for God to help us fix our house. Our 4 year old has been crying out to God in prayer since all of this came crashing down on us. For God to heal her PANS, (her auto-immune disease from the Mold) and for God to fix our house so we can go home. And every night my heart just gets wrung when she prays, and I just beg God to deliver us, to deliver my little girl from this disease. My children have stronger faith than I do at times.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17
Today ended with tears, but not tears I thought it was going to end with; sadness for our situation. Instead it ended with tears of hope and just the feeling of being blessed. Sometimes God leaves us breadcrumbs. And even in our darkest times and our darkest days when we don’t feel like we can see Him anymore, He does it. He drops manna from heaven for us. This time it was at Dutch Bro’s of Lacey. For some reason the barista just knew that all he needed to do was ask me about my kids. I was trying so hard to not make a fool of myself in the drive thru so I just ended up handing him a flier and said here you go, you can read all about my family in this. I was thinking, I’ll just get my coffee and go on my way before I really break down, but of course he didn’t give me my coffee yet. But that’s also the beauty of it. Instead he opened up his own heart and gave kindness to us and hope. He wanted to hear more about what was happening for us. He wanted to help. It was the first time all day today someone actually reached out and wanted to help without me purposefully seeking it. With a day full of closing doors I just never saw it coming.
Look at the birds or the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Matthew 6:26
When we least expect it, God moves. When we are not looking for it I think God likes to move the most. Sometimes I have a hard time letting go and letting God move. I want to do things myself, which is good in it’s own way, and for certain scenarios, but sometimes we need to step back and let those acts of kindness, that still exist out there, happen. Sometimes we need to let God bless us through the kindness of others. As a recent recipient of many small acts of kindness along our journey and escape from our moldy house I cherish them like gold or precious jewels. These are the moments I want to remember out of all of this. These are the stories I want to tell my kids as they grow up. These are the types of people I want them to be like.
Love must be without hypocrisy. Detest evil, cling to what is good. Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lack diligence; be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer. Romans 12:9-12
If you want to move mountains. If you want to make a positive change in this world be a kindness giver. Help each other. Ask those questions when you see despair in someone’s eyes. Be there for them. Listen to them. And hug them. We are human and we are not meant to travel this life alone. Be there for each other. Help each other. Love each other. That is how you move mountains. It is not done on a protest march. It is not done on a campaign trail. It is not done by rioting. It is accomplished by slowing down. Being real and getting real with someone. Meeting them where they are at and being there for a complete stranger, even if it is just to hold their coffee hostage for a bit and give them hope and a hug.
And just to make sure everyone thinks this day has had a happy ending , and are stuck wondering if I ever did get my coffee….Yes I did get my coffee. And by the way, the Cocomo at Dutch Bros…..yeah..it tastes like candy….its my new favorite drink……and it is even better when it comes warmed up by kindness and love.
Be the change in this world. Fill this life with God’s love. Replenish Hope in others. Encourage each other to not give up and accomplish their dreams. Fulfill simple acts of kindness as much as you can.